For many of us we believe that true joy and success in life can only be realised through a complete lack of constraints. We want to pass through life unencumbered by outside influences or distractions, free to set our own course. Whilst this smooth passage may sound the ideal I am increasingly realising it leads to lazy thinking and bloated excess.

Instead I now look for constraints to sharpen my thinking, make better decisions and remind me of the truly important things in life. This approach takes two forms: acceptance of difficult situations and asking better questions.

When confronted by a situation that is less than ideal it is natural human tendency to throw our hands in the air, get frustrated and complain that life isn't fair. Whilst this is certainly the easier option it is hardly productive. Instead we need to take a deep breath, understand that life isn't fair, and that is ok, and then ask ourselves what we are choosing to miss by getting frustrated. Within every obstacle is an opportunity and it is our task to find it. We will more than often find that the new solution is actually better than our original strategy. 

By asking yourself better questions you can harness the power of constraints to tighten your thinking and, in turn, increase your effectiveness. You can do this on a micro level by considering at the start of each day what 1-3 things, if completed, would make it a successful day. This pulls you out of an efficiency state, trying to do as many things as quickly as possible, to one of effectiveness, doing the important things and doing them right. You can also use this approach on the macro level by, for example, taking a long term goal, such as buying a house, and asking yourself what would it take to achieve this within a year. Again this challenges your creativity to think of innovative solutions.

Some of my favourite 'constraint' questions are:

- If I can only do X with a budget of X, how will I achieve it?
- If I only have 20mins to do X, what  should I prioritise?
- What task, if completed, will make the others insignificant? (Lead domino Q)
- If I can only ask 1 person to help me with X, who would I ask?
- If I can only do 1 thing to put me in a more positive state, what would I do?

These are just a small selection of questions you could use to tighten your thinking and start making better decision. I encourage you to try this approach and see how it works for you.

Scarcity and abundance are 2 terms that I have heard plenty of in much of the 'self improvement' and 'optimisation' material that I regularly consume, however I had given them little thought until recently. I have been in the process of house hunting and have found this ordeal quite challenging for my mental state. There is nothing like being a first time buyer to remind you just how far down the ladder you are in life. You get locked in to constant comparison and are focused on what you don't have. In other words, you are in a state of scarcity. I found that, once in this state, it became a challenge to change things and scarcity in one area quickly lead to scarcity in others. Soon it wasn't only housing where I felt like I was lacking. With this sense of lacking came negative emotions of frustration and low mood.

Thankfully, through regular reflection, I was able to spot this trend in my self talk early and could explore options to change things. There are 3 tactics which I have used to move from scarcity to abundance which I will share with you today. It is my sense that it is far from just being me that has battled this so I hope it proves useful for you too.

1. Acceptance. It is a certainty in life that, no matter how successful you are, there will always be others that have done more. There will always be someone in better shape, with a bigger house and with more money in the bank. Now you can do battle with this reality and live in a state of constant frustration or you can shrug your shoulders, accept the fact, and instead focus on being a better you. True success comes from reaching your potential and being happy with that, not from endlessly competing for an arbitrary title of being the most of something.

2. Presence. If you are constantly projecting forwards or rewinding back then you will get caught in comparison and induce a state of scarcity. if you can live in the moment, surrounding yourself with everything you are experiencing at that exact time then you will be in abundance. Practice mindfulness and catch your mind when it starts leaving the moment you are in.

3. Gratitude. This is the big one when it comes to abundance. Listen to any truly happy person and you will pick up on the gratitude that they live their life with. The fact is that if you have the basic conveniences of life in terms of water, heating, housing etc. then you are in the top 1% of the world's population in terms of wealth. Even on our worst days we are infinitely luckier than the vast majority of our fellow humans. We need to connect with this fact. Start or end each day by writing down 3 things that you are grateful for. These could be big things such as family or little such as a decent sunrise. By practicing daily you will soon start to re-orientate your attention to what you have as opposed to what you don't.

If you ever find yourself in a state of scarcity, apply these 3 tips, to help get back to abundance.

As humans we have an odd relationship with sleep. We idolise it throughout the day, telling anyone that cares to listen how much you're wanting your bed, yet, paradoxically, we show scant regard for improving our sleep or giving it priority in our lives, often boasting about how little sleep we are surviving on whilst mainlining coffee at the same time.

Cutting through all this macho cultural nonsense the simple reality that we all need to face up to is that if we aren't getting 8 hours of sleep a night then we are sleep deprived. This may come as a nasty surprise to any 5 hour a night types yet this is what all the evidence shows us. Digging a layer deeper reveals another interesting fact - that we are terrible judges of our performance when we are sleep deprived. We don't feel that our performance has dropped and therefore carry on regardless.

If the previous paragraph has come as bad news for you then hopefully the rest of the post will give you some hope. There is so much we can do to improve our sleep and, if you are able to make the commitment to prioritising your sleep, then you will rapidly discover how good you can be when you are properly rested. What follows are my top tips for optimising your sleep:

1. Routine is king: We are rhythm based animals and operate on a 24hr circadian sleep cycle. Unfortunately our modern lives do everything to disrupt this rhythm. In order to get the most from our sleep we need to re-establish our rhythms. the easiest way to do this is to pretend you are a baby. Set bed times and wake times and have associated routines that go with these. Stick to these for 5 or preferably 7 days a week and you will soon click in to a natural sleep pattern.
2. Cleanse your sleep environment: Sleep hygiene is the winner of the 80:20 calculation for sleep. You need to ensure your room is quiet, dark and cool. You also need to make sure it is only used for sleeping and related activities. Not as an office or playroom. Your mind needs to associate your room with just sleep, otherwise you will find your work thoughts starting to creep in.
3. Wind down: When you come home at the end of the day do you slowly reverse into the garage or do you crash straight into it at full speed? Stupid question right? Well now imagine that the garage is a metaphor for sleep. Do you slowly ease into sleep or do you just stop whatever you were doing and crash into bed? To sleep well we need to ease into it, as a bare minimum give yourself 30mins before bed where you slow down and relax.
4. Eliminate screens: Melatonin is the main hormone associated with sleep and this is produced in response to falling light levels, unfortunately if we stare at screens all evening the blue light from these tells our body that it is still light out and we therefore don't produce melatonin. This makes it hard to sleep. To counter this we need to try and keep screens out of our evenings. If we absolutely have to use them try blue light blocking glasses or programs like f:lux which reduce the blue light that will hit your eyes.
5. Relax: The adrenal hormones associated with the stress side of our nervous system do a great job of preventing us from sleeping, keeping our body in a state of constant alertness. This often gives the 'tired and wired' sensation in an evening where you are physically shattered but your mind races. To prevent this you need to shift into the rest and digest side of the nervous system. there are many ways to do this, my personal favourites for ease and utility are simple breathing techniques. I use the box breathing app every night before bed. In only a couple of minutes I quickly feel calmer and slower and I subsequently fall asleep much more easily. You can also try meditation programs such as Calm or Headspace.
6. Cool down. To help us fall asleep our body temperature needs to drop. With the average bed creaking under the weight of all the throws, blankets and pillows that has been piled upon it this can be a challenge. If you exercise in the evening then this makes the process even harder. Whilst you may not like it a cold shower or bath before bed will do wonders. If warm baths are your thing then keep the room coll so you can quickly drop your temperature when you dry off.
7. Cheat: if all else fails there are some tricks that you can use. Supplementing with a ZMA and 5-htp product can be useful. Especially if you are deficient in zinc and magnesium. However my top cheat is a little more high tech. Researchers have found that certain kinds of music can reproduce the brain waves that are associated with sleep. These binaural beats can therefore be used as a sleep aid. My favourite program for this is a simple, and free, app called Pzizz. It has helped me and everyone I have recommended it to so do check it out. My only caveat is that you tick the other boxes too. It isn't a panacea on it's own.

I hope that these quick tricks can help you give your sleep the priority it deserves and start to experience the benefits of being at 100%. If you are able to sleep properly you will notice that mentally you are sharper, you are more resilient to stress, you don't get ill as often and your energy levels rise. In short you become a better person to be and to be around. So for the sake of you and your friends and family, please give this stuff a try.

If you have any additional advice that has worked for you please do share it in the comments.