Finding exercises to help us develop resilience however can be tricky. When we experience difficulty it is easy to get wrapped up in the emotions they produce which inhibits our ability to be resilient and learn from the experience. Thankfully I recently came across an excellent exercise that can be used both in the moment for immediate resilience building or retrospectively to help us build on past learning opportunities that we may have passed over.
It is simply called 'My darkest teacher'. Take some time out with a pad and pen and think back to the difficult and tough times you've experienced, recall the darkness. Write about the experience and what you felt and thought at the time. Then, draw a line, and start listing what you've learnt from that experience and why you are now grateful for this. By working through this process you are not only cementing the learning that is inherent within each difficult experience but also starting to reinforce a mental link between difficulty and growth and learning. That link is resilience.
You can also use this technique in the moment, right when you are experiencing difficulty. First work through the emotions by writing down everything you are currently experiencing, really describe the situation. Then consider what your future self, say 1/3/5 years from now, would reflect back on the experience, what would they be grateful for and what might they have learnt? List all these things. By doing so you are detaching from the immediate experience and connecting with the potential that lies within it. Again, this is resilience.
So I urge you to find 10 minutes to give this exercise a try. Start learning from your darkest teachers.